I miss you so badly, you know. If you read this, you’d know. But I can’t tell you because I feel trapped, trapped, trapped, in everything.
And you tried to call me tonight, and I was extremely close to picking up the phone, and I thought about what you would say much more than what i would have said. That’s the funny thing. I thought about what you’d say, and how you’d sound, and my stomach turned, but I knew I couldn’t pick up.
But I miss you, especially tonight. I always tried so hard to communicate clearly with you, and I just can’t do it in this situation, now. I’m just trapped and not ready to say what I need to say.